#think of the POSSIBILITIES have some IMAGINATION

[lostfracturess]

say it again — satoru gojo x f!reader

you've been married to satoru gojo for so long, but you've kept it quiet, so you can imagine his satisfaction at finally hearing you call him "husband" in public.

You've managed to keep your marriage to Satoru Gojo under wraps for nearly two year now. It isn't that you're ashamed—far from it.

Being married to one of the most powerful sorcerers simply comes with complications, especially given his clan's tendency to meddle in everything.

So you both agreed to keep it quiet. No flashy announcements, no public displays, just you and him. Sure, it means wearing your ring on a chain under your clothes and careful planning for your living arrangements, but it's worth it for the peace and quiet.

That is, until you slip up at the most mundane possible moment.

You're both at an official appointment regarding some property documentation. The clerk has been droning on about paperwork when she asks about your relationship to Satoru for the forms.

"Oh, he's my husband," you reply absently, still scanning the documents in front of you.

The scratching of Satoru's pen stops abruptly. You look up to find him staring at you with the most ridiculous expression—somewhere between absolutely delighted and utterly self-satisfied.

"What was that?" he asks, a grin spreading across his face.

You blink, realizing what you've just said. "I mean—"

"No, no, say it again." His eyes are practically shining now. "What am I to you?"

"Satoru," you warn, very aware of the confused clerk watching your exchange.

"Come on," he says, leaning closer. "One more time. What am I?"

"We're in public," you hiss, but you can feel your cheeks warming under his gaze.

"Please?" He bats his eyelashes at you in that ridiculous way of his. "For your beloved husband?"

"You're impossible," you mutter, but you can't help the small smile tugging at your lips.

"Impossibly charming? Impossibly handsome? Impossibly perfect as your husband?"

The clerk clears her throat. "Should I... put down 'married' then?"

"Yes!" Satoru answers before you can. "Put down that I am this wonderful person's husband. Their spouse. Their better half. Their—"

"She gets it," you cut him off.

But Satoru isn't done. For the rest of the appointment, he manages to work the word "husband" into nearly every sentence. "As her husband, I think we should sign here." "My lovely spouse and I would like copies of that." "Do you need both myself and my better half to initial this?"

By the time you leave the office, you're ready to strangle him.

"You're enjoying this way too much," you say as you walk to the car.

"Can you blame me?" He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. "It's not every day I get to hear you call me your husband in public. Usually it's all 'this is Satoru' or 'we're together' or my personal favorite, 'yes, I do unfortunately know him.'"

You roll your eyes, but can't help leaning into him. "You know why we keep it quiet."

"I know, I know. The clan would be insufferable." He presses a kiss to your temple. "But maybe we should tell them anyway? Can you imagine their faces when they find out we've been married this whole time?"

"They'll have our heads for this."

"Perhaps. But you have to admit, the thought is tempting. No more sneaking around, no more hiding that ring." He catches your hand, thumb brushing over where your ring should be. "I want everyone to know exactly who you are to me. And what I am to you. What was it again?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Come on," he coaxes, "just say it once more."

You pretend to consider it. "And what do I get out of this?"

"My eternal love and devotion?" He gives you a long look. "And I'll do the dishes for a week."

"You're supposed to do those anyway," you point out, but he's already pulling you closer, that insufferable smirk of his growing wider.

"Say it again, love," he says, and the way he looks at you then—eyes soft and full of adoration—makes your breath catch in your throat.

All your defenses melt away under that gaze, the one he reserves just for you, the one that makes you forget why you ever try to deny him anything.

"Husband," you breathe, and feel him tense slightly against you.

"Just like that," he whispers. "Though I prefer when you add my name to it."

"Don't get ahead of yourself."

"That's what I do best," he says. "Besides, my darling wife, I think you secretly love it when I am."

The way he says 'wife' sends a shiver down your spine—something you know he notices from the satisfied look in his eyes. "You're impossible."

"Impossibly yours," he corrects, and despite his playful tone, there's something sincere in his gaze. "What do you say? Ready to scandalize some elders?"

Looking at him now, you can't remember why you ever wanted to keep this secret. "With you? Always."

He doesn't wait for more, just leans in and captures your lips with his, and you think maybe going public isn't such a terrible idea after all.

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.

[sillylotrpolls]

Deepest apologies, everyone. While I do on occasion deliberately leave out popular choices, that was actually not my intention here. Rather, there was simply such an abundance of possibilities that I had to cut myself off from imagining even more and focus on choosing from among the ideas I already had.

Yes, "meat's back on the menu!" would have been a great choice, but - which option would you have removed to add it? "Kingsfoil" placed last with 3.7%, but among book readers was still quite popular judging by the comments and tags. So let's just say this was a case of me leaving the most popular/obvious choice off to give the others a fighting chance. :)

I don't think there's much to analyze here beyond being glad so many of you enjoyed this very silly poll, so I'll just note that yes, as of 2024 the Swedish Chef really has been in every Muppet movie to date, if only for very brief cameos.

Some of my favorite tags and comments from the notes:

@bloggingwithoutpants reforging Narsil#Like Elrond just kinda tosses the bits intk a bucket and hands them off#“TODEE WE FORGEE ANÜE DE SWERD THAT WAS BROKEE!”

@camgirlpanopticon It's important to me that you all know that in Sweden he's called the Norwegian chef

@maggiemayhemnj “verdeskuugen orc orc orc”

@selifator Looks like Swedish meatballs are back on the menu boys!

@chemistry-sherlock-whatever i genuinely thought that pelting tomatoes would be the pacific ocean of this poll

@smoothjazzdigit The prancing pony was my first thought but I realized the prancing pony HAS to be rowlf’s big scene. It’s a bar in a muppet movie, rowlf is legally obligated to be there

@bitterfucked everything galadriel down is very much a contender#but i really feel like you missed an opportunity#by not suggesting he replace the orc that really wants to eat merry and pippin#merry and pippin keep crawling away while he's prepping them#the same combat is ongoing and merry and pippin are very concerned about it#but the swedish chef uses it opportunistically ie disarming foes to use their sword to chop veggies etc#and the scene ends when he tries to grab a leaf from an ent as an ingredient and it bops him on the head knocking him out

And finally, two bonus Swedish Chef/LotR memes are below the cut. Please enjoy my simple photoshop photopea.com efforts, and feel most welcome and encouraged to share your own.

Getting back to serious topics today.

[emchante]

OH another idea: cooking stream w max 😉 he’s wearing an apron with smt like “kiss the cook” but shirtless underneath, accidentally smearing sauce on his fingers and licking them clean, turning around to grab something from the cupboard and just showing off his back.. god i can go on and on about this

kiss the cock cook | m. verstappen

warnings: 18+/suggestive — minors dni.

DIIII OH MY GOD. you’re such a genius, your brain works in magical ways and i want to have it myself!!! the first post for this series went down well, so here you all go!!<3<3

one of the first few softcore porn streamer! max streams catch is a cooking stream. you know what his channel is now, after your first endeavour. you shouldn’t be surprised at what you see on the screen.

yet, you still are.

as soon as the ads finish rolling, the stream pops up on the screen. max is shirtless, under a dark apron. ‘kiss the cock’ is what’s written on it, but cock is scribbled off with a messy ‘cook’ above it. the apron allowed part of his soft chest to be on display. your eyes trailed down to see the apron wrapping around his soft hips perfectly, as the knot at the back held the apron together as tight as possible.

the camera angle was perfect— allowing you to see most of his top half, while leaving the rest to your imagination.

max knew his audience well, so he had an extra camera set up in the kitchen. it was a birds-eye view camera, a little box in the top right corner of the stream that was titled ‘hand cam’, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why it was there.

he was glancing at the chat as he put the ingredients for his cake in the large bowl. he smirked at some of the comments. “yes, i’m shirtless. no, i’m not trying to seduce you. my kitchen is hot, okay?” he tells the stream, acting innocent. if you really couldn’t tell though, the wink he gave the camera afterwards sold it.

he pondered for a moment before grabbing the camera above him, and moving it on the counter next to his bowl. “much better,” he muttered, before spreading his large hand across the bowl, as if to secure it. his other hand had an electric whisk, and he began to mix the ingredients together.

as he whisked, he glanced to the chat to see their reaction. he licked his lips before smirking, reading the comments as they came through. “i need him carnally.. this should be illegal..” he reads some, causing the influx of comments to worsen as they all try to be noticed by him. “max please.. please what, dear viewer? i need you to use your words for me,” he purrs, looking innocently into the camera.

the look he gives the camera sends a heat in your stomach. your thighs instinctively squeeze together at the sight, and your thoughts start racing. imagining him looking up at you like that, as you place yourself on his thighs. hands on his soft chest, pushing him down and telling him to use his words, finally switching the roles for once. how he’d deliciously beg and plead for you to—

fuck. what were you doing? you should not have been captivated so fast by him, but yet..

“anyways, i think that should be it mixed now,” max interrupts your internal conflict with his own words, turning off the whisk. he reaches out of from, and brings back another bowl. he tilts them both towards the camera to show the contents— cake batter in one, and thin icing in the other.

he eyes chat momentarily, smiling when the influx of ‘taste it!’ messages come flooding in. “you’re right, you’re right! i should taste it. how would i know if i liked what i made so far otherwise?” he questions, his index finger reaching into the first bowl.

he takes a scoop of the cake batter that looks entirely too appealing when it’s smeared along max’s finger. he slowly sucks it clean, pouty lips smacking gently when they touch again. his eyes flutter shut as a soft moan escapes from max, head tilting back.

“that is so fucking good, if only you guys could taste it,” he mumbles, licking any of the excess off of his lips as he reads the chat.

the heat in your belly was growing, the way he looked and the sounds he let out were amazing, and you needed more. you hadn’t chatted much in max’s chat, sending a few messages here and there. but tonight, you felt different. you needed more, and you were going to get it.

swallowing thickly you moved your hands to your keyboard, thinking about what you should type. your eyes scanned the screen.. and bingo. you knew what to do.

‘well you tried the batter, but what about the icing? just to be sure’

max is still reading over the chat when you send your message, and your heart skips a beat when you see his eyes widen. he stands up straight, looking into the camera with a small smirk.

“that’s a great idea, actually,” he praises, adding your username onto the end before he pulls the bowl of icing closer to him.

the icing was thin and white, from what you had seen when he showed the cameras. you watched as he plunged his index and middle finger into the bowl, pushing them right in before pulling them back out. the gooey icing dripped from the tip of his fingers, and had coated a thin layer over the rest of it.

he lifted his fingers to his mouth, stretching them to a ‘v’ shape as he licked through the middle of them. your cheeks flushed at the innuendo, and his chat clearly felt affected by it too judging by the spam. afterwards, he stared deep into the camera before pushing his fingers together, running his tongue along them in stripes to lick them clean.

his hand fell back to the counter as he swallowed thickly, before a low groan came from his throat. “fuck— that icing is amazing,” he starts, head lightly tilting back. “it’s perfectly sweet,” he adds, licking his lips clean as he reads the chat.

your heart was still racing at the look he was giving the camera, as well as the fact he had done as your message had said. your luck on his streams was unbelievable.. maybe you should start chatting more.

after that, max had went back to preparing the cupcakes in their cases that were sat in the tray. you had zoned out admittedly, not from the stream itself, just.. the baking aspect. you were more so focused on his large arms, watching them flex as he consistently moved around. your eyes were also glued to his chest, especially when he leaned over to read something from the book. the apron hung low as he did so, giving you a deeper look into his soft chest.

it didn’t take long for your attention to be peaked again, as max clapped his hands together, stating he was getting them ready for the oven.

“so, i have already preheated the oven,” he began to explain as he leaned over to his computer, messing about on obs. he stopped talking as he fixed what he needed to, and the next minute the main camera angle had switched— now, instead of the camera on the tripod, the main camera was the one on the counter initially used as the hand cam. now though, it was sat so it faced the right side of the kitchen, which included the oven.

“so no need to wait for that,” he finally finished, looking into the camera and giving it a smile before he stood up straight, grabbing the tray. he turned around and walked towards the oven slowly, as if he knew what he was doing.

max’s chat— and your internal thoughts— went back to their thirsting ways as max’s defined, toned back was on display. the comments honestly could’ve came from your mind, as they were along the same lines. ‘i need to scratch down his back’, ‘that back is looking a little bare.. let me fix that’, just to name a couple.

max stopped in his tracks, doing a 180 and walking back towards the counter. “oops, i forgot how long to put them in for,” he muttered, a small smile on his face that gave away his lies. it was obvious what he was doing, he simply just wanted to see the thirsty reactions. and god, did he get them.

“glad you’re all enjoying the view today,” he speaks up, turning back towards the oven and walking towards it, giving the fans what they wanted. then, he bent down towards the oven, giving the camera a perfect view of his curvy ass as he placed the tray in the oven. as he pulled the oven door back down, he pushed himself out further as a tease for the camera, before standing up straight again.

“it’s free today, you know,” he continues, referring to his last comment about the view. “but tomorrow? who knows,” he sighs, eyes scanning his chat as they burst into desperate pleads for him to keep slutting himself out for free.

max had decided to cut the stream off for a break while the cupcakes baked in the oven. he leaned against the counter, arms in front of him causing his chest to push together and you couldn’t keep your eyes off it.

“i’ll be back later, don’t you worry about that,” he reassures any worrying viewers with a wink. “thank you for joining, everyone. i’d say don’t forget to kiss the cook— but none of you can,” he pouted, before blowing you a kiss. “least you could do is send me a sub,” he adds cheekily, standing up straight. he begins to untie the knot from the back of the apron, causing the apron’s strings to drop to the side.

your eyes widened as he began to slowly lift the apron off of himself, allowing the viewers to see his soft body on display. his chat went crazy— from comments about grabbing his love handles, to marking his chest, to wanting to explore that happy trail— everyone enjoyed the view.

conveniently the countertop covered his boxers, therefore nobody could see there or below.

“i’ll be back later for you all, hopefully ready to show my cupcakes,” he smiles, reading the chat one last time.

‘what about your cake, max?’ is the last message he reads, causing him to burst out laughing.

“if we reach the big sub goal, maybe something can be arranged,” he teases, before the stream abruptly cuts off.

⋆˙⟡ enjoy this? i hope you did! please come chat to me about it in my ask box! publicly or on anon— i’ll answer everything <3

[milktiicup]

Helloooo! I love your writing so much! I read it all day every time you post, especially your homicipher ones 🥹🫶 I hope you're doing great today btw!

If it isn't too much to ask, can you write the homicipher cast's reactions about the baby of Mr. Crawling and Mc? 👀

I imagine some would be very funny 😭

Have a lovely dayyy! Mwamwa!

little hands, dark hearts!

homicipher cast meeting you and mr crawling's baby! > scarletella, silvair, chopped, hood, machete mr crawling baby saga! chapter 1 chapter 2

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🌊 ⋅ ˚✮ i think you can tell i have favs by the amount of length and detail some of these have dkjfhkdhdgj

warnings. lol just pure angst in mr. scarletella's

MR. SCARLETELLA

He stares. And he stares. And he stares.

The silence is suffocating, weighing heavier than the shadows beneath his feet. Dull, grey eyes bore into yours, searching for answers that you couldn’t give. 

Of course, he brought you here to be with him. You gave him all these lovely offerings, shedding beautiful blood in his name, stared directly into his eyes as he enveloped you, taking you to his domain- but you wouldn’t give him your name. You stand there, swinging your crowbar, defiance burning in your eyes. It’s not fear he sees, not submission, but anger- a raw, searing thing that slices through the quiet like a blade. And it confuses him. No, it infuriates him.

His grip on his umbrella tightens, the knuckles whitening. His lips twist into a scowl, but behind it, something softer flickers- an ache he doesn’t know how to name. He’s used to taking. Claiming. But you… you’re not like the others. You’re still standing. Still staring. Still resisting.

And it only makes him want you more.

But then there’s him.

That thing. That crawling, pathetic thing that dares to share the space you once offered to him.

What does that creature have that he doesn’t? What pull does it hold over you, to make you look at it like that? Mr. Scarletella hates him. Oh, how he hates him. He hates your baby. Hates the way its small hands grasp at you, the way you cradle it against your chest as if it’s the most precious thing in your world. He hates the way your smile softens when you whisper to it, the way you laugh when it coos.

You look so happy. How could he take that away from you? And yet- how could you do this to him? You like him. He likes you. Why did you pick him?

The resentment pools in his chest like ink, sticky and dark. He wants to scream, to tear down this fragile illusion of happiness you’ve built, to drag you back into his arms where you belong. And yet, his hands tremble. His scowl falters.

You look so happy.

And the thought guts him. How could he take that away from you?

His lips twitch, caught between a sneer and a sigh, as he looks away. For the first time, he doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to take what he wants.

Mr. Scarletella’s chest rises and falls, his breath unsteady. His umbrella clatters to the ground, forgotten as his hands flex and curl into fists at his sides. He steps closer, the air around him rippling with suppressed fury.

“Why?” The question tears from his throat, jagged and raw, barely above a whisper. His crimson eyes gleam with something between desperation and rage. “Why?”

He’s staring at you again, but this time, there’s no pretense of control. Just pain, naked and wild, burning in the shadows of his gaze.

You don’t answer. How could you?

So, he waits. And he stares. And he waits.

MR. SILVAIR

Mr. Silvair holds your baby, careful and learning. His bandage gaze peers into the little eyes, baby babbling and cooing and reaching for his hair. He smiles, soft and curious. 

His infatuation with your child is endless. How was it possible for you two to procreate? To create something from something undead, a ghost, a monster- and a perfectly normal human. Questions that he will never have answers for- questions he doesn’t dare act upon. The baby is fragile, soft, and defenseless. He couldn’t take it apart and put it back together- he can’t break something that could never be fixed.

And the question eggs him at the back of his mind- what if it could?

His hands steady yet soft, as though he’s cradling the most fragile thing in existence. The baby babbles, tiny fists reaching for the loose strands of his silver hair, and when their fingers catch hold of it, she giggles with pure delight.

“Them like,” he observes, his voice unusually tender.

You stifle a laugh. “Of course she does. It’s shiny. Babies love shiny things.”

His head tilts slightly, silver hair brushing against the baby’s chubby cheeks as they continue their determined mission to grab at more strands. “Shiny good?” he asks, his curiosity genuine, as if this is just another puzzle he’s determined to solve.

“Very good,” you assure him, stepping closer to watch the two of them. “She’s clearly a fan.”

The baby lets out a happy squeal, wriggling in his grasp. Silvair’s gaze flickers down to her, and though his eyes are hidden, there’s something warm in his expression. “Strong grip,” he notes, “Healthy.”

You smile softly, leaning against the counter. “She’s got her father’s energy, that’s for sure.”

Mr. Silvair doesn’t respond immediately, instead focusing on the baby as they try- and fail- to stuff one of his fingers into their tiny mouth. He gently redirects their hands, careful and patient. “Small,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “Important.”

His words catch you off guard, and you glance at him. “Important?”

He looks up, tilting his head. “From you. Important. Interested in them.”

The simplicity of his statement warms something in your chest, even if he was purely fascinated with your child out of sheer scientific interest. You’re not sure if he fully understands the weight of his words, but at this moment, it doesn’t matter. You’ll take the softness of the moment. 

The baby lets out another squeal, this one more demanding, and Mr. Silvair bounces them slightly in his arms, an action so natural it makes you blink in surprise. The baby quiets immediately, snuggling into his chest with a content sigh.

“Good,” he says, more to the baby than to you. 

You can’t help but laugh, the sound light and genuine. “She likes you,” you comment with a shuffled laugh. Of all the monsters here, your child just has to like the one who tears you apart. 

Mr. Silvair tilts his head again, his smile returning faintly as he glances down at the now-sleepy baby. “Me like them.”

“Cute?”

“Cute.”

MR. CHOPPED

“Want carry them,” Mr. Chopped pouts, cheeks puffed. “Them cute.”

“She’s so cute, isn’t she?” you chuckle.

The baby giggles, a toothless, gummy smile as bright as the sun. He frowned, his eyes narrowing in a mix of frustration and wistful longing. “Me carry. Want carry,” he repeated, his tone almost petulant.

“You’d need arms for that,” you tease, bouncing the baby lightly on your hip. The baby squeals, her laugh infectious, and you couldn’t help but grin down at her. “She’s so happy to see you, though. Look, she’s waving!” You guide her tiny hand in a slow wave toward Mr. Chopped.

His face lit up with exaggerated enthusiasm, his head tilting as he “leans” closer, as if proximity would help convey his affection. “Cute,” he said with deep conviction. “Many cute. Little human.”

The baby gurgles in response, her toothless smile lighting up her face. She reaches out as though she wants to grab him, her tiny fingers opening and closing in that delightful way babies do.

“See?” you laugh. “She wants to hold you!”

Mr. Chopped’s pout deepens dramatically. “Unfair. No arms. No hold. No carry. Me sad.”

You shook your head, amused. “You’re fine, Mr. Chopped. She can’t even hold her own head up for long; I’m sure she’s not judging you for not having arms.”

“Baby not judge,” he said solemnly, his voice tender. “Baby happy.”

“She likes you,” you reassure him with a smile. “You’ve got that big, friendly face, and you’re always talking to her like she’s the most fascinating thing in the world.”

“Them are,” he said matter-of-factly, his tone so earnest it made you laugh again.

“Well, maybe one day we’ll rig up some kind of… carrier for you,” you offered jokingly. “So you can hold her. Or at least let her sit in your lap- if you had one.”

Mr. Chopped perked up at that, his cheeks puffing out again with excitement this time. “Yes! Make lap. Make arms. Then carry. Hug!”

“She’d probably love that,” you said, kissing the baby’s soft head. She giggled again, her tiny hands reaching out toward Mr. Chopped, her eyes bright and full of wonder.

MR. HOOD

“Not understand,” Mr. Hood repeats.

You sigh. “You have to support the back of her head,” you say, guiding his ghostly arm to the baby’s nape. “Gentle. She’s fragile.”

“Weak,” he observes. “Much small.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “so we have to protect her.”

Mr. Hood’s form shifts as he processes your instructions, the faintest hint of curiosity flickering through his voice. “Protect... small weak thing.” His hand hovers near the baby’s head. It trembles slightly, not from lack of strength but from hesitation- like a predator trying to handle something delicate for the first time.

You place your hands over his, guiding him with care. “That’s right. Support her head. Babies can’t hold their heads up yet.”

He tilts slightly, as though trying to look closer, though his featureless head offers no expression to read. The baby gurgles softly, her tiny fingers curling around one of his. The textureless appendage seems to surprise her, and she coos in delight, kicking her chubby legs.

“Why small thing hold?” Mr. Hood asks, his voice edged with wonder.

“She’s curious,” you explain, smiling at the sight. “She doesn’t know what you are, but she wants to hold on to you.”

“Not wise.” His tone is flat, but there’s no malice in it. He shifts slightly, his massive frame dwarfing her. “Me danger. Not afraid?”

“She doesn’t know fear yet,” you say softly. “She only knows what feels safe.”

His hand rests under the baby’s head and back now, cradling her with surprising gentleness. The contrast is almost surreal- his immense strength and amorphous form against the fragility of a newborn. The baby giggles again, wiggling in his hold.

“Small thing… trust,” he murmurs, his tone almost contemplative.

“She does,” you say, watching them with a warmth blooming in your chest. “And that’s why we protect her.”

“Protect,” he repeats, as if testing the word. His grip shifts slightly, more confident. “Protect small thing. Understand.”

It’s strange, seeing someone- or something- like Mr. Hood in this role, but in the quiet moment, his usual air of detachment seems to melt away. The baby yawns, her tiny body sinking deeper into his hold, completely at ease.

MR. GAP

“Give little thing,” Mr. Gap says from the vent, his voice more curious than menacing. You freeze, hand still cradling your baby close to your chest as his long, dark arm stretches out, holding something soft and fluffy- a teddy bear.

Your baby, who has been cooing and kicking her legs happily in your arms, notices the movement. Her bright eyes widen, and she reaches out toward the stuffed bear with an eager little giggle.

“Give them?” It’s such an innocent request. He’s just offering the bear, his dark figure so out of place in the light of the room, but there’s something almost endearing about it.

You laugh softly, a smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, she’d love that,” you say. “She’s been really into cuddly things lately.”

The baby coos again, her tiny hands reaching for the bear, almost as if she recognizes the gesture as a gift. She touches it gently, then pulls it closer to her chest in a little snuggle, her face lighting up with joy.

“See? She likes it!” you say, glancing at Mr. Gap, your voice teasing. “Thanks to you.”

Mr. Gap pulls back slightly, his hand retreating into the vent, but you catch a glimpse of a subtle shift in his posture- a pleased air about him, as if he’s satisfied with the outcome.

“Them happy?” he asks.

You smile warmly, watching the baby continue to clutch the teddy bear like it’s her new best friend. “Yeah, she’s happy. And that makes me happy.”

A soft, quiet chuckle seems to come from the vent, and you can almost imagine a small, pleased grin behind the shadows. “Good,” Mr. Gap says, his voice full of pride. “Me good.”

The bear is now in the baby’s tiny hands, and her sleepy eyes begin to flutter shut, the soft comfort of the stuffed toy pulling her into a drowsy stupor. You gently rock her back and forth, watching as she drifts off to sleep, clutching the bear to her chest like it’s the most important thing in the world.

“Thank you, Mr. Gap,” you say softly, though he’s long disappeared back into his shadowy realm. You’re not sure if he heard, but you still find yourself whispering it anyway.

And for a brief, fleeting moment, everything feels a little bit lighter.

MR. MACHETE

“What… that?” he asks, a finger lazily pointing at your baby nestled in your arms.

“It’s my baby!” you reply, pridefully, and cradle her for exaggeration. Within a second, your face falls firm, and you sternly say, “No fighting little thing.”

“Not fight?” Mr. Machete’s jagged smile turns into a comical looking frown. He scowls, and turns away. “Not interested.”

“Mr. Macheteee,” you whine, “Just look at her! Isn’t she just so cute?”

Mr. Machete pauses mid-step, his broad shoulders tensing at your words. He lets out a huff, loud and exaggerated, before reluctantly glancing over his shoulder. “Cute?” he echoes, the word sounding foreign on his tongue. His tone is skeptical, almost offended. His machete falls to his side, an ear-scratching ‘clang!’ that disturbs you more than your baby.

The baby coos, her tiny hands waving aimlessly in the air. Her bright, gummy smile beams up at him, and for a moment, Mr. Machete looks genuinely stumped. 

“Them small. Shape wrong,” he notes, leaning in closer. His massive frame looms over her, but he makes no move to get too close. “Weak. No teeth. Cannot hold attack tool.”

He stares at the baby a moment longer, his scowl softening ever so slightly as the baby giggles, a bright, happy sound that cuts through his rough demeanor like a blade. She reaches toward him, her tiny fingers grabbing at the air, and for reasons you don’t quite understand, he doesn’t immediately pull away.

The baby’s determination seems to intrigue him. He tilts his head and extends a single finger- not a threatening move, but cautious, almost testing. Her tiny hand catches his finger, and she grips it tightly, her toothless grin growing impossibly wider.

“Them strong,” he finally admits, his voice low but tinged with what could almost be considered respect. “When little thing big, fight.”

You roll your eyes. Well, at least he gave your baby some attention.

[xetlynn]

Hello!!!, I just wanted to request a Claggor x pregnant reader (in the good timeline), if that’s possible, thank you so much <3!

I had fun with this one

Arcane Imagines- Claggor

The Favorite

[arcane] [main page]

Prompt: claggor and reader are expecting a baby in a few months. Their family come over with gifts.

“Sweetheart, don’t you dare.” My husband stopped me as I was about to pick up a part of our baby’s bed. I sigh, lifting myself back up while holding the bottom of my stomach. “Claggor I can pick up a piece of wood.” I walk over to him. He sat on the floor trying to figure out the directions to put the crib together. It was mine from when I was a baby that my mom surprisingly kept. 

“Not if I’m here. What if you trip and fall forwards? I would never forgive myself.” He looks up at me with a stern expression. I roll my eyes, nudging him with my knee. “I’m only 31 weeks, I don’t even have the pregnancy waddle yet. So I am very capable of picking things up without tripping.” I fold my arms, a little annoyed with this conversation that we’ve had before. 

Anytime I even lift a finger I get scolded. I can’t cook, I can’t lift anything over 5 pounds, I can’t pick things up off the ground anymore. “You’re in denial first off because you so have a waddle. And second I am here so you don’t need to be capable of picking something up. I got it.” He takes my hand, kissing it softly. I roll my eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Okay, whatever. When our princess comes out being a little diva that’s going to be on you.” I point a finger in his face, he pretends like he’s going to bite me.

“And I’ll be okay with a little diva.” He goes back to building the crib. 

I go out to our living room to sit down on the couch. I let out a bored huff. What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and read? Who does he think I am? I’m tougher than him. I used to be a professional fighter. Now I’m some sort of wife with a great husband who wants to take care of me. 

My hands land on my stomach and I think about our baby who is in my tummy. What will she look like when she’s born? I hope she has my eyebrows. Claggor’s nose. 

A bunch of knocks sound at the door and I frown knowing I have to stand up from just sitting down. I grab the back of the couch and try to push myself up. “Sit down, sit down. I got it.” Claggor rushes past me, getting the door. I blink a few times, now annoyed since I got halfway up!

Vander comes into the house holding two baskets. “I bring gifts for my grandchild!” He laughs excitedly, I grin up at him. “Thank you! You didn’t have to do that!” I appreciate Vander, he’s been such a good help with setting things up for his granddaughter. “Ah, yes I did. She’s going to be such a spoiled girl.” He clasps his hands together after Claggor took the baskets from him, setting them next to me on the couch. 

“Well, we love you.” I smile, taking the first basket and opening it to see little blankets, a thing of diapers and wipes. “This is so helpful.” I start to tear up, Claggor sits next to me pulling me into his arms. “Sorry, I’m just so grateful for this. You don’t understand.” A tear falls and my body wracks in a sob. 

“She’s been crying a lot more lately.” Claggor tells his dad and I sniffle. Vander snickers, “it’s alright. No worries, I know how it goes.” He waves my behavior off. 

“Powder, Ekko and Mylo are going to be stopping by. They told me to let you know.” He exclaims, his arms over his chest as he speaks to us. “Oh man, they’re so sweet!” I cry out, hiding my face in my husband's chest. I feel him shake as he laughs at me. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He rubs my back up and down. “Sorry,” I sat up, wiping my tears. “Pregnancy brain.” I grab the other basket, opening it to reveal some baby clothes. “Perfect, we’ve been needing to grab some more pajamas.” I take them out of the basket, holding them up one by one to check them out. “So cute.” I squeal, leaning my head on Claggor’s shoulder. 

Not even moments later there’s a pounding at the door and Vander gets it. Mylo sneaks under his arm holding a large golden necklace. “Got this for my niece so she will know who the best Uncle ever is.” He throws it over to Claggor who picks it up in between his fingers to inspect it. “Yeah, she’s never going to wear this.” He deadpans to his brother with an irritated expression. 

“What!? I spent good money on that. She’s going to love it.” He throws his hands in the air. “Mylo, this is fake. Her mother is allergic to fake metal so I’m sure she will be too.” Claggor throws it back to the shorter guy. “Ohhh! He told you.” Powder comes in with a small box, Ekko behind her with painting supplies. “Here ya go!” She places the box down in my lap. “I made them.” She proudly states, hands behind her back. I picked up a light pink rattle. I shook it and it was soft sounding. Perfect for a baby. I look at the others and there were some teething toys along with a few building blocks. “Powder, thank you! This is amazing.” I grin up at her. “Awe, it’s nothing much. I’m excited to meet your beautiful bundle of joy!” 

Ekko wiggles the paint supplies and I point to the bedroom. “Thank you again, Ekko!” I call after him. “No problem! I’m so excited to do this.” He pokes his head out to tell me and I chuckle. “Also, could you clean this mess up? Or is the crib supposed to look like this?” He looks to Claggor who groans. “I forgot all about it. I’ll be back, babe.” He plants a kiss on my lips before heading into our daughter’s bedroom. 

Powder plops down in his spot, Vander reprimands his other son about trying to give a baby a gold chain that ended up being fake. I giggle, turning to my sister-in-law.

“You’re so talented Pow.” I lift up her artwork and her face flushes. “Thank you, I didn’t know what to get you guys for her. Ekko said something about giving you little toys. Then I thought about how I could just make the toys myself.” She explains her process and I smile. “Well this is a great gift.”

“I’m going to be her favorite uncle, trust!” Mylo tells his dad who scoffs. “You don’t even know what to get a kid.” Vander places his hands on his hips. “You’re right but I know how to make the kid look cool. She’ll be beating up bitches left and right.” He announces and I snort. 

“That’s why you’re not babysitting. Ever.” Claggor comes back into the room. He turns to look at me but then sees Powder in his spot and he frowns. “What? Why not?” Mylo asks. 

“You want my kid to be violent. She’s not going to be.” Claggor pinches the bridge of his nose, not believing this was actually a question. “Yeah, that’s why I’m going to be the favorite. Praise peace and love.” Ekko peaks out behind my husband and I snicker. “You are not going to be the favorite! You guys will eat your words when the first thing she says is Uncle Mylo.” He points at all of us. I hold my stomach from how hard I’m laughing. Powder giggling with me, her hand grabbing onto my wrist trying to contain herself as well. 

“Her first word will be dada. Not her uncle who is an idiot.” Claggor argues, I raise my eyebrow. Dada? It’s definitely going to be mama but I don’t have the energy to join this fight. "I'm not an idiot." Mylo furrows his eyebrows.

“It could be Uncle Ekko. I top all you suckers.” Ekko says and now the three are all in a very heated argument about my daughter who’s not even out of the womb yet. 

Powder turns to me, putting a hand in front of my ear. “I hope they realize the favorite is actually going to be me… Gonna be so embarrassed when they find out.” She tells me and I grin. “You’re so right.” I nod my head. 

--------------------

Gonna try to grind more requests I do have over 25 at the moment so be patient with me!!!! I enjoy this so much. I love seeing all the love!!!! I am getting sick though so if I start to slow down on my posts that's why. I can already feel my body aching:(

N e wayzzz, love you guys!!!!!

[saydams]

(i think op is talking about one of the cave diving pioneers, Sheck Exley, who died diving in 1994)

from the article:

[harris' friend and us navy diver Doolette] said he “was relieved to hear that Harry survived this test dive” but remains disappointed with some aspects of the experiment, and concerned about possible future attempts. “For instance, I imagine among the engineers he consulted would have been someone with the ability and resources to do a computational fluid dynamic analysis of the Megalodon rebreather to establish the ignition risk, but instead Harry filled his rebreather up with hydrogen in his backyard.”

[harris stated several favorable conclusions, adding]

“In introducing hydrogen we have addressed the issue of gas density, but we certainly have not established it is safe to use in terms of explosion risk, decompression, or the thermal hazards,” Harris said.

Among his conclusions, Harris pointed out that he also managed to evade the nickname “Hindenburg Harry.” “Fortunately that was avoided,” he said, “but remains an ever-present risk.”

If you dive, then you dive. And if you really dive, then you have been in the room when someone got grumpy about Carl from Up and his frivolous helium usage.

[slightly-knot-insane]

A Little Bit Rusty [part 2]

[ m!monster x fem!reader ]

a/n: continuation of this short drabble, now with more plot, hehe. also, i imagined this monster as some kind of dinosaur hybrid, but i'll still keep it vague enough for readers to imagine whatever they like ^^ content: nsfw, some steamy moments with clothes on, fingering

You left his apartment before he woke up, figuring it will be less awkward than to have breakfast together and spend the morning in silence avoiding each other's gaze. The night was so good, though, you think as you enter the museum, your workplace.

It's hard to focus on paperwork you left unfinished yesterday in order to have fun with your co-worker, aka supervisor, aka mentor. It's very hard not to think about his long monstrous tongue or his teeth biting your inner thighs.

"Good morning..." You jolt up immediately recognizing your mentor's voice. You didn't notice when he entered the office. He is standing a few steps away from you, like you have a disease. "Are you... okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" You are truly surprised with his question. Last night was fantastic.

He suddenly stands with his back straighter than before - if that's even possible. "R-right. Good to know." And then basically runs away.

Maybe he didn't have such a good time? He sure didn't act unsatisfied. You chuckle looking at him trip over his own legs.

It's a busy day, Saturday, and the museum is full of people. You both have tours to lead, but since you only started working, you are mostly free or assisting him.

You actually love listening to him, since he's very eloquent when talking about archaeological findings, especially about bones. He is especially charming with kids and can make them laugh easily. But as soon as he lays his eyes on you, he blushes or stutters. It's so entertaining seeing him flustered you can't help but on purposely make his job even harder.

You shorten your skirt, pull your blouse down to expose your bosom, and tighten the belt around your waist to accentuate your curves even more. When he sees you the next time, his jaw drops like a malfunctioning lid. Luckily, his group is enjoying some free time exploring the science room so he has time to quickly approach you.

"You, um..." he tries to form words, ask you something very polite probably, but you bite your lip and his pupils dangerously dilate.

He pushes you behind 'staff only' little door in the next room and shoves your body against the wall. It is so cramped in there and you can't move - not that you want to. This 'rusty old man' how he called himself, is all but out of practice, and you get wet just thinking about what he could do to you right now.

"I'm not blind," he growls and pushes his clawed hand into your hair pulling your head backwards. He licks your neck along your jugular. "You're toying with me."

"You think?" your sarcastic remark is cut short by his hand sliding between your thick thighs and lightly touching your mons pubis.

"Why did you leave this morning?" he asks you but doesn't let you answer because he pushes his tongue inside your mouth. All you can do is moan and suck. "Why?" he repeats letting you catch your breath.

"I-I'm not sure," you reply, mind hazy, "I wanted us to think about everything, I guess. Analyze things."

"I see," he hums as his finger slithers inside your panties and rubs your lewdness while his other hand grips your hips. "I recon we're both done thinking."

He pulls his finger out and licks it with the tip of his tongue. Your pussy throbs.

"We should get back to work," he says, blushing again, returning to his old flustered self... and kisses his wet finger before exiting the storage room with a naughty wink.

[ third part coming soon! ]

[annaseidr]

I don't think that we appreciate Viktor's plan enough. It is my firm belief that not only did he want to erase Hexcore and himself from existence, but also do some good in the process.

It was established that Hexcore found a way to corrupt the very water, spreading like a disease and infecting the environment. What this means is that by simply killing Viktor Hexcore problem wouldn't be resolved as wild rune remains and will lead to catastrophic consequences in the long run. Only Viktor himself could defeat Hexcore by consciously making the choice to destroy it. And Jayce was the only one who could make this outcome happen - he very well knew about it and the power he had, armed with Viktor's own feelings.

So the question remains: why did Jayce wait till the very last possible moment to show Viktor the power of love? He didn't try to earnestly talk to him even once, and always looked like a person set on a mission throughout. He also seemed to know the outcome of some encounters beforehand.

For instance, when Viktor is entering Hex vault? Jayce isn't even trying to attack Viktor here or be on a defensive, as if confident Viktor would do nothing and just walk by.

And of course this scene, where Jayce kneels by his weapon and closes his eyes, resigned for what is about to happen.

It is my opinion that Jayce had a pretty good understanding of the future events and his role in it, which leads me to believe that the severe escalation of Viktor's evolution, leading to the final fight, was necessary.

I honestly feel like animators did an amazing job showing how incredibly hard it was for Jayce to straight up crush Viktor time and time again, especially when knew about Viktor's feelings and realised himself that those were reciprocated. Can you imagine the pain Jayce must have felt? Killing the person he loved, warping them into something monstrous and even then, at his worst, Viktor was anything but indifferent to Jayce, and him alone.

But if it weren't for Jayce shooting Viktor the first time, Viktor wouldn't lose his faith in humanity(Jayce) and agree to move on with Singed's procedure. It was stated that his power was finite, so I would speculate that Jayce didn't even try to persuade Viktor because he knew that even if he succeeded either Savior Viktor didn't possess enough power to stop Hexcore, or he died in the process. Neither of those options resolve anything, since Hexcore remains in the world, therefore it was necessary to trigger Viktor's evolution to the Machine Herald form.

So why then Jace yet again isn't trying to convince Viktor in the Council room encounter afterwards? Viktor was even the one who came forward, wanting to talk and bearing news of the hostile intentions of the Noxian. But that's just it, if Viktor were to concede this second and destroy Hexcore, it would still leave completely disorganized Piltover and Zaun facing oppressing Noxian forces. It is only after Jayce rejects and "kills" him once again that Viktor lashes out and completes his evolution. And as a result, it gives a perfect common enemy to unite forces against, which finally brings Piltover and Zaun together.

We shouldn't forget that Viktor shared Jayce's dream to bring magic to people and improve lives. But they brought an impossible anomaly that was destroying the world and not saving it. So is it so far fetched to assume that after witnessing countless timelines and possibilities, knowing all the details and nuances, Viktor and Jayce wouldn't try and create the plan to maximize the good while destroying Hexcore at the same time?

I think this is exactly what Viktor and Jace would do..

[jenniferoksana]

(If Deadpool was introducing Agatha Harkness in an MCU film, basically.)

DEADPOOL: In most universes, Agatha Harkness is a benevolent grandma witch with no disturbing charisma or noticeable sexuality who guides and helps every magician in the Marvel Universe to be their best selves. She's usually Franklin Richards' nanny, Wanda Maximoff's spirit guide, a teacher at Strange Academy, just the kindest of witches with a sweet little cat familiar. And then there's the Agatha of the sacred timeline. She's a little...different.

[Imagine "Boys Wanna Be Her" by Peaches while our Agatha Harkness makes out with Rio Vidal in period costume]

DEADPOOL: This one fucked Death. Not a death god, not anything else you're thinking. Actual Death. I mean, it's a power move, but...I'm sorry, I just got a little distracted there, those two are still just going at it and it is every nasty thing you've ever imagined. No wonder these crazy kids made a baby.

[Shift to some random scene from WandaVision]

DEADPOOL: And we all met her when she Single White Female'd the Scarlet Witch while Wanda was having her little vacation from reality. Now, pro, we got that banging theme song, which is great, and found out that this was chaos magic and Wanda was the Scarlet Witch, but also Agatha killed the dog, which as we all know is worse than anything you could possibly do to humans. Which is good, because this Agatha has killed so! Many! People!

[The 'Agatha Through Time' sequence with the Witches' Road song]

DEADPOOL: I'm serious, in my universe, Agatha Harkness fosters sad magic orphans and may even sing them lullabies like Mary Poppins. I don't even think she knows curse words. And then yours is a chaos goblin con artist who got custody of Wanda's twins in the afterlife? Damn. Well, you know, it's nice to know even the sacred timeline has its outcasts.

[beka-tiddalik]

I had a great birth experience with both of my kids but uh anyone telling you it was effortless are either lying or selling you something or both.

I've got chronic pain and I'd picked up from my midwife and further reading that painkillers wouldn't do much useful during the birth so I avoided them for as long as possible. For my first I ended up needing an epidural anyway because around hour 17 they decided I needed an emergency caesarean.

Anyway I need you to all understand that childbirth was not the worst pain of my life. Nerve pain and broken bones hurts a lot more.

BUT.

It was bloody intense. You know the feeling when you've been running as hard as you can for as long as you can and you didnt train enough and you can see the finish line so you need to keep pushing yourself past your reserves to get there and your entire body is begging for rest and has been for the last half of the race?

So imagine that you're doing that but you can't see the finish line and you can't quit until the baby is out and they'll keep telling you you're nearly done and they're Guessing.

Sure, once the baby is out you get the world's most intense rush of hormonal euphoria but still. Intense.

People do it every day. I had an emergency caesarean after 17 hours of labour the first time and the second time was 5 hours, almost all natural barring a bit of vacuum on the last push.

When they gave me the epidural for the caesarean the first time it was awesome because I could tap out, my job was done. Then I had to rehab myself for 6 weeks post surgery with a newborn.

The second time I was up and walking around and having a shower within an hour once the baby was out and felt great much sooner.

I would classify neither of those births as traumatic and Still I have to emphasise that it took a lot of mental fortitude and some good midwives to make them that way. They were still 2 of the most intense days of my life.

Is the reward worth it? Sure, I love my kids. They're what I wanted. Going through childbirth successfully felt very affirming in some ways.

Do I think anyone should approach childbirth lightly? Hell no, the next closest amount of physical alteration people undergo in a single event is in something like a car crash.

There's no one right way to do it, and everyone is going to experience things differently, but don't Lie to people and tell them it's easy or fun.

It's a challenge that you can choose to rise to (assuming you have the requisite parts) but it doesn't make anyone less of a parent to not find their joy and/or affirmation in one hard day of physical labour.

losers in the notes of that post like “actually giving birth was perfectly great for me! I had a good time! it was effortless and I am the divine feminine! don’t let this post scare you!” you don’t get an award for not having birth complications and your individual experience shouldn’t be used as evidence that birth is not often traumatic

[sulumuns-dootah]

Okok, I don’t know if your taking reqs…but I read your ‘avoiding them because of a dare’ and got the idea…what if it wasn’t because of a dare, but because you were threatened into avoiding them by a decently strong demon, stronger than us at least

WHB kings' reaction to MC avoiding them due to being threatened by a different demon

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: Ooh, your mind! This is some juicy idea right there :D

The demon threatening MC is in all instances the same: a Hades demon with the ability to lie and be invisible (and won't heistate to use either to make sure MC doesn't just run to the kings)

Warning: Things get kinda dark

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Satan noticed you haven't been around much

And whenever you happened to be in his viscinity, you looked panicked and tried to get away as soon as possible

Did he do something?

Emergency meeting! Nobles assemble!

Everyone is helpless and has no answers

Then Amy bursts into the room:

"Ayo, I think this might have something to do with this weirdo from Hades that's been hanging around here pretty much since this all started?"

And everyone including Satan lights up like !!!

So the next time you're somewhere alone Amy's gang pulls up and Amy tries to get some answers

But you're too affraid your stalker is somewhere nearby and won't hesiatte to do something to you within the blink of an eye if you tell

So Amy's guys leave

And ofc, once they're out of there, he appears

Just as he's about to say something, Satan appears out of nowhere and... uh... let's the demon know the full power of Satan's wrath

       ༺☆༻

This time it's actually Bimet who notices your absence

He doesn't even bother to tell Mammon, because he'd think it's another one of those bets

But this time it feels kinda sketchy to Bimet

So he looks up your Tartaros bank statement to see where you've been spending you money

...

Why are you buying self-defense items and books on how to fight demons stronger than you?

Okay, now that has to alarm even Mammon

Bimet storms into Mammon's office without a care in the world and reveals all his findings

Somewhere around that time you start noticing meeting the same demons over and over again and it's almost like they're all just observing you

Nah... It has to be your paranoia getting to you so yous hake it off

Until your demon stalker catches yoiu off guard by pulling you into some back alley between shops

You don't even have the chance to scream and the moves from your book are useless too

At this point you're already accepting that his is the way you die...

But then the three demons you've been seeing everywhere flood after you and the next thing you know, your stalker's on the ground and one of them is making sure you're okay

       ༺☆༻

This situation kinda poses a question: if two demons are invisible, do they see each other or not? i would imagine that either invisibility is a different layer of reality and they would then see each other... or it's not that and they wouldn't see each other

Anyways...

Leviathan would know from the beginning since Foras is looking after you most of the time

If your stalker is smart enough to somehow figure out the times you're alone, he might actually pull it off

If it weren't for Foras immediatelly noticing the change of your demeanor since the last time he was around

He will ask you what is going on, but if you don't tell him, he'll have to tell Leviathan

So you tell him and eventually, with a bit of a help from Glasyalabolas, you come up with a plan

The next time he comes to threaten you, you say a special phrase, which will summon all the nobles to your side and they'll deal with him

Unfortunatelly that plan failed succesfully in experience

Your stalker did come up to you in another absence of Foras, but Leviathan himself just happened to be around and heard everything he said

Yeah, that guy is now a permanent ceiling decoration in the Hades castle

       ༺☆༻

Talking about near-constant supervision

Your stalker's plan would've worked out if it weren't for one small, buzzing, tiny problem

Even on the go, Beel wants to know where you are, what you're doing and so on

To you it's already normal so you don't even notice the constant buzzing sound following your around

The stupid demon doesn't even have the chance to finish his threat to you before a familiar chuckle signifies danger

It shouldn't be so satisfying to see the fear in your assiliant's eyes, but here we are

With a sliver of hope, he turns around to run away, but Beel's having none of it

Beel catches him under the neck and hugs him close to himself while looking at you mischievously

"Soo~ Y/N! What do you think I should do about your friend over here?"

       ༺☆༻

Similarly like with the dare, Belphie would notice your absence but won't think much of it

So when he casually asks Beleth what you're up to and what's gotten you busy and only sees blank stares of realisation on all of his nobles' faces, the hunt is on

You're just somewhere out in nature, already given up all hope and trying to get reclaimed by nature when a black void swallows you up without any prior notice

It feels like you're floating and getting crushed by the nothing around you

But then as you looka round, you see Belphie who looks way too awake

Oh shit

You're gonna die

!!!

Okay, you don't die, but Belphie questions you in more of a bad cop way

After you hastily explain your situation, ending with tears in your eyes, Belphie just smirks and walks over to you

As he hugs you, the void around you starts to dissipate and you start feeling something soft underneath you

Well... To be fair, your stalker would be really dumb to try doing something to you while you're in the very same bed with the king of Sloth himself

       ༺☆༻

Ignoring the fact that this is literally the canon :D

Let's just say that you've been around Asmodeus long enough to get infected with is energy

Staying away from him at that point becomes agonisingly painful

The heat is always there and it seems like nobody except for him is able to lessen it even if for a few hours

So sorry, random Hades demon, not gonan happen

From that point on you decide to stay in Abaddon because which sane demon from outside Hell would voluntarily go to Abaddon?

And if you happen to venture out, you always make sure to be with another demon

If you tell about your predicament some other fellow Abbadonians, they'll pose many interesting questions and scenarios:

Would he recognise if it was some other demon disguised as you?

and

If he did cause you pain and you seemed to enjoy it, would he be disgusted or encouraged by it?

       ༺☆༻

Avoiding Lucifer wasn't so hard since he barely leaves his ward of the hospital

But still, even going to the hospital was a potential risk of meeting him

So just make sure you don't need a doctor and you're good, simple...

Well it would be, if the crazed demon didn't leave you every so often with a warning in a form of you waking up in the morning with few cuts and they only keep getting worse

To the point that you have no other choice but to go to Paradise Lost and ask one of the nobles to stitch your wounds together

Buer, bless him, did eventually agree to keep your visit a secret

So everything went well, right? Nope

A certain baby dragon was so excited that you visited the hospital after so long that he jingled to Lucifer's room the instant he heard your voice

So while you're anxiusly waiting to be discharged, your heart sinks the moment Lucifer walks into the infirmary

He... seems calm and collected?

Luci just reads you file and casually looks over your treated wound, running his finger over the bandages

"I see you've been well, Y/N. Haven't seen you here lately. Try to keep them as clean and sterile as possible, okay?"

Somehow you make your way out of the hospital kinda... disappointed...? No scene or anything?

(This is getting to long so I'll just summarise)

After you're out of the hospital, the demon attacks you but the second he lays his hand on you, he's frozen i place and Lucifer appears out of nowhere

Turns out that Luci drew a protective sigil on your bandages to alert him when your attacker tries to do something again

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

Surprising love.

Warning ⚠️; None, just fluff for once

Pairing; Alastor/Deer!Demon!Male!Reader

Summary; To everyone's shock and surprise, Alastor introduced you as his husband after the hotel was rebuilt. Chaos follow.

~~~~~~~~~

The hotel was more beautiful and grandiose than you imagined. Well, it was true that it had been rebuilt since the attack from Adam and his Angels, maybe for the better. Your eyes admired the place, wondering if your husband had had a say in some of the ideas. Like the radio tower clearly visible.

Holding a bag of food you just made, you walked inside the hotel. The first thing you saw Charlie hunched over the desk, writing on some papers with concentration painted all over her face. Poor princess didn't even hear you approaching even with your hooves clopping on the floor. You stopped in front of the desk, an amused smile on your lips as you slowly leaned down until you were at the same height as her.

- “Excuse me, princess. May I have your attention for a second?” You asked, resulting in poor Charlie almost jumping out if her skin and screaming.

You held back a laugh as she looked at you up and down, her hand resting on her chest as she calmed herself. You stood back, standing straight as you heard footsteps running toward you. You turned your head, seeing her father and girlfriend arrive first.

- “It's alright dad, Vaggie, he just scared me. Sorry! I didn't hear you coming in.” She excused herself, her breath short and you waved your hand as if it was nothing.

- “Do not worry yourself for so little, princess. I am used to scaring people.” You chuckled. “I was just wondering if my husband was around, I got him his favourite meal.”

Jambalaya made with angel’s meat as you knew he wanted to know what they tasted like. And Jambalaya had always been one of his favorites. Naturally, you didn't tell Charlie what it was made of.

She blinked, looking at you curiously.

- “Your husband?” She asked, slightly tilting her head as you wore no ring. “Who is he? I’ll look if he is registered!”

- “Oh, he definitely is.” You laughed before hearing familiar footsteps.

You turned your head only to see Alastor coming your way. Your smile grew, toothy, as Alastor stopped and smiled as well.

- “Oh Love! You came!” He said, rushing toward you.

Everyone stood frozen, eyes round with surprise as you embraced Alastor, planting a kiss on his hair. The radio demon wrapped his arms around you, his microphone resting against your back. You plunged your gaze in his and chuckled, showing the bag of food.

- “I made your favourite. Jambalaya.” You said and you saw excitation and joy in his eyes as he snatched the bag from your hand, giving your his microphone.

- “Wait, wait, wait! You and that freak? Alastor is married?” Vaggie asked, pointing at Alastor, than you.

- “Been for almost a century, darling. Nothing new there except that Jambalaya! You made a new recipe, didn't you?” He asked, smelling the bag.

- “Made it just for you.” You said, winking at him and Alastor got it instantly.

His smile grew as he kept the bag against his chest even if all eyes were on you. You almost felt uncomfortable, but decided to ignore them. They didn't truly know Alastor and your husband had the habit of keeping you a secret for your safety. After all, as an Overlord, he had many enemies.

You weren't powerless, but if it made Alastor feel better, then you didn't mind not existing. But now that he had invited you here and weren't denying your bond, even showing physical affection, you wondered who they all were to him.

You gently replaced his hair before turning your attention toward Charlie. She almost had stars in her eyes as she looked at you two, unlike her father who seemed to still be in shock.

- “Do you think it would be possible for me to join your Hotel? Of course, I will share the same room as Alastor.” You said, tilting your head while Alastor nodded as if you had asked him.

- “O-of course! It'll be a pleasure to have you around.” Charlie said, waving at you while Alastor took your hand, pulling you away.

You laughed, allowing Alastor to do as he pleased. In the elevator, you kissed your husband on the temple and he hummed, fingers playing on the bag. You could tell he was impatient to taste it.

- “Fresh angels from the battle. I got some in the freezer if you love it, so Incan makes you more meal.” You said, twinkles in your eyes.

- “Why? Thank you! It sweet of you dearest.” Alastor replied, looking at you with a true smile as you squeezed his hand gently.

Alastor took you to his room and you both made sure the door was locked before you got comfortable. Alastor immediately went to the dining table, putting the table and getting ready to eat as you took off your coat.

You joined him as he served the both of you a generous portion of Jambalaya. You ate and made small talk, asking him how his stay was and if his wound still bothered him. Alastor was honest, pointing out how bored he had been without you and that, in fact, yes the wound on his chest still bothered him sometimes.

After dinner, you took a look at his chest, finger brushing through his fur. Alastor stood still on his chair, a bit tense as you examined the healed wound. Still a bit reddish and swollen, it had healed properly.

- “Let’s put on some cream, but I don't see any sign of infection.” You said and Alastor nodded.

He stayed shirtless after you put on some cream and bandaged on his chest. You sat together on the sofa, your arms around him while he nuzzled himself against you. You turned on the radio and just enjoyed the music, cuddling with Alastor.

You felt your husband slowly fall asleep against you and you realized that he had truly missed you. Those small domestic moments were a joy to do again. You leaned down, kissing his forehead. You chuckled when Alastor grabbed your antler and lightly shook it.

No kissing, you got it. He had gotten enough and you knew he wasn't a fan of them, unlike you. You smiled, lifting your head, forcing his arm up, which had Alastor opening his eyes as he didn't let go of your antler.

- “You are falling asleep, let's just go to bed.” You offered and Alastor agreed.

You found yourself quickly in bed, Alastor in your arms and already fast asleep. Your fingers brushed his fur, your nose buried in his hair as you took in his smell. It had been months since the last time you slept next to your spouse and you had almost lost him recently. You felt that if you closed your eyes, he would disappear before you woke up. You fought sleep as long as you could, but finally gave in after a few hours.

You woke up to someone trying to get in the room, but the door was locked. Groaning, you opened your eyes and were greeted by the sight of Alastor nuzzled fully against you. His arms were wrapped tightly around you, his head rested under your chin and his breath tickled you while his legs tangled with yours. Alastor was still deeply asleep, unbothered by the stranger trying to break into your room.

Sighing, you caressed Alastor’s face before untangling yourself from his embrace. Alastor whined and groaned before turning around in almost a ball. You smiled and pulled the blankets over him before putting on a dressing gown and going to the door.

When you opened it you got face-to-face with a spider-like sinner. The man looked at you with big surprised eyes, as if he didn't expect you to open the door.

- “May I help you?” You asked, voice a bit cold.

- “Holy shit, it's true? Alastor is actually married?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes before pinching your nose. Were you really forced out of bed for that?

- “Yes, we are married.” You sighed, leaning your shoulder against the doorframe. “And you are a nosy spider, young man, coming here so early and forcing me out of bed. So is there something I can help you with or can I go back to sleep?”

- “How is Alastor in bed?” He asked with a big smile making you grunt in disgust.

- “Sleeping and that is none of your concern.” You pointed out.

- “Oh come on! Everyone is curious about how he is sexually speaking!”

- “Alastor had no interest in it neither do I. After the time he passed around you that most be clear.” You said with a sigh, shaking your head.

- “You gotta be kidding me. No sex?” he exclaimed, almost not believing it.

- “You know sex isn't the base of a healthy relationship, right? Not everyone needs it to be happy.”

It had taken you a few moments, but you recognized the man in front of you as a pornstar, Angel Dust if your memory was good. Of course, asexuality might be an alien concept for him, but you decided to not judge him for it.

You closed the door after making it clear the conversation was over and went back to bed. Naturally, Alastor had woken up by then and sat in the bed, waiting for you. You sat by his side, shaking your head.

- “Your friend Angel Dust came to see if it was true that you were married and decided it was the perfect time to ask about our sex life.”

You laughed seeing the disgust painting itself on Alastor’s face. You took his hand and kissed his knuckles before resting your cheek against them and smiled to him.

- “I told him a healthy relationship doesn't need sex, but I think it's a concept he doesn't understand yet.” You said and Alastor shook his head before resting it on your shoulder.

- “He really woke us for that?” He asked yawning as you nuzzled your nose in his hair. “I might beat his ass later today.”

- “Hush now. He is just a kid lost and who still has a lot to learn. I highly doubt he was raised properly in a loving family.” You whispered before laying back down. Alastor did the same, resting his head on your chest as you wrapped your arms around him. “Let’s forget about your friend, I’m still tired.”

Alastor hummed in agreement and you wrapped your arms tighter around him, making sure to not hurt him. You closed your eyes and were lured to sleep by your husband’s slow breath. As you fell asleep, you also felt at home. You were back where you belonged, by Alastor’s side and he was by yours once more. Seeing how clingy he was, you knew the feeling was reciprocal and you knew he would never leave you alone again.

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

Little Dove: Part 4

No Lady Dundus this time i'm affraid, but we do get a glimpse of the Emperors wrath.

Part Three

The time you spent high up int the Roman Emperor’s royal box would be one that you would commit to memory, you told yourself this as you watched the games with Lady Dundus upon your lap, not ever expecting any further interest from the young Emperor. Yet the royal carriage was now where you sat alongside your father, taking you back to the palace again for another banquet held by the emperors, one more catered to the finer members of the Roman senate. You had never travelled in a carriage of such splendour, the walls of it laced with the finest gold linen and adorned with the most intricate embroidery that you believed was better suited to an exotic villa rathe than a coach.

The journey to the royal palace was mostly uneventful, you peered through the bars of the window, drinking in the sights as you rode past upon high, the voice of your father blurred out in your mind. Your father had been lecturing you on how to behave tonight, he had ignored your hard-headedness for too long in the council meetings you attended but he would not have you embarrass him in this banquet; one that would be full of men of stature and influence. You nodded absentmindedly at his warnings; his voice was fuzzy in the back of your mind as you thought of the emperor and the way he played with your hair and kissed your skin only some moments ago.  Caracalla was sure to have many brides presented to him on a regular basis, women of higher standing than you, yet it did not stop you from daydreaming about him throughout the ride, imagining what it would be like to be his.

Upon arrival at the palace, you were greeted by an array of guards, guiding you into the main hall once again, utterly impressed at how it could possible look even more impressive than when you were here only a day ago, marvelling at how the servants must have been working tirelessly to achieve the impressive décor. This banquet was more intimate than the last, reserved for the higher class and influential people of Rome, though your father was a senator he would have never dreamed of reaching this level of class in society, hence his firm instruction for you to behave and not antagonise anyone for the night.

In your brief scan of the room you could not see Caracalla, it made your heart sink for a moment before thinking that obviously he would be busy, each one of these senators and generals would want an audience with the Emperors, custom dictated that they would entertain each one in conversation. Lonely was the banquet for you, your father was now off networking and schmoozing with those better than him, the Emperors interest in you had now made you a cow to milk for further influence, and one that he would milk dry until the emperor became bored of you, like he had done with so many of his concubines he attained.

Stood alone next to the wine bar you had eventually become a spectacle, how could you not attract the eyes of the lecherous men here, not when you were dressed so alluringly in the rose-pink gown you specifically chose to impress Caracalla. The gazes upon you now did not go unnoticed, you took your wine and tried to turn away or hide your body from them, it was bad enough in the normal councils, but these senators knew that they could act without consequence for the most part. If one of them wanted you there was nobody to save you, your father could not act without being a social pariah and you being shunned into the countryside; you would have to try your best to deter them any way you could, your fathers’ words echoing in your mind to not make a scene and behave as a lady.

Eventually you had caught a few glimpses of Caracalla at the end of the room, looking uninterested listening to his brother speak to a high ranking general, the eyeroll and look on his face made you chuckle behind the rim of your wine glass, watching him with interest. A hand was felt upon your lower back, making you flinch, your body stiffen as the owner of the hand came into view. You had recognised him straight away, Marcus. Son of Valerius, one of the most important senators of Rome, a fact that Marcus wore proudly, strutting like a peacock knowing that his fathers influence would grant him whatever he desired.

“And what is a beautiful flower like you doing by the wine bar by yourself? Do you have no chaperone?” His voice was seedy as his eyes raked over your body, you were beneath him socially but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fuck you or make you a mistress, you could just never be his wife. It was hard for you to surpass a sigh or roll your eyes at him, yet you did it for your father, not wanting to make an enemy of Marcus’ family, it would be devastating for your own.

“I am enjoying the peace Marcus” You bowed politely and smiled, taking all your effort to be polite to this wretch of a man. “My father is away talking business to the other senators, work I obviously have no Idea about” The smile on your face never faltered, you of course knew the business of politics, you knew even more than your brothers, but it was something you would never be allowed to join in with. A loud laugh escaped Marcus’s lips as you spoke, the idea of your father being on the same level as his own amused him greatly. “Oh, my flower” His tone was laced with venom as his hands grabbed your face, squeezing the flesh of your cheeks until your lips were pursed and parted, his fingertips digging in and causing you pain.

“Your peasant family is nowhere near mine, your presence here is frankly an insult unless you are here just to be a fuck toy for the rest of us. Do you understand that.” Hate spewed from his mouth, Marcus was viscerally offended by the fact your father was here with his own father, taking the anger out on you, confident that he would face no repercussions. Afterall, who would care about one middle class unmarried girl, relishing in the fact he could treat you how he pleased. You yanked your face from his grasp causing him to be even angrier. Attempting to walk away Marcus grabbed your arm tightly, yanking you back towards him and spitting at you. “Don’t you fucking walk away from me you whore!”

Caracalla had unfortunately been unable to greet you and your father personally to the palace due to his prior obligations, he instead watched you throughout the night and promised himself that he would give you a full private tour as an apology. As he watched you it made him smile, your eye rolls and pretend smiles made him chuckle and got him through the monologues of the boring generals, counting down the minutes until he was free to seek you out for himself. Caracalla had barely kept his anger in check as he watched you, seeing the leering eyes of the old senators upon you, you belonged to him, you were not for them to lust over.

When Marcus gripped your cheeks it tipped Caracalla over the edge, he did not even excuse himself from his conversation. Storming forward through the crowd he saw the entire interaction, watching you struggle away from him as he grabbed your arm, the only word he heard Marcus utter was “whore”, making Caracalla’s blood burn even hotter.

Caracalla placed his hand on Marcus’s arm and ripped it away from your own, his eyes now black with fury as he stared at Marcus. The silence was loud between them, Caracalla just stared at Marcus, hinting for a response, waiting to see what excuse he had to manhandle and bruise you this way. An involuntary smile spread across your lips as you watched Marcus bow weakly before Caracalla who was now stood at your side, his free arm around your waist loosely, ensuring you were safe next to him. “So, tell me Marcus, son of Valerious. Why are you roughing my honoured guest? Touching my Little Dove?” Caracalla’s voice was angry, you had heard rumours of the twin emperor’s wrath and now you were seeing it in person, almost in awe of it.

Marcus had no answer at first, tears spilling from his eyes as his arm was still held tightly in the emperors own. “Well, speak up young Marcus! You can lose a hand if you like!” The voice that came from Caracalla’s lips was frantic and angry, he was not used to people defying his orders as his grip tightened on Marcus’s arm. The firm grip caused Marcus to whimper and cry, begging for forgiveness, pleading that he did not know that you belonged to Caracalla, that he would have never touched you otherwise. Caracalla threw his arm away and let Marcus fall to the hard marble floor, letting him disgrace himself rather than others for once. You watched the exchange between the two of them, shocked that the emperor had even come to protect you of all people, you were the lowest ranking person here.

As your eyes were on Marcus on the floor, incredulous at the sight of him so humiliated; you felt Caracalla’s hand, a now delicate touch upon your chin, turning your gaze to meet his own. His eyes were wild as he scanned your body, you didn’t even have time to react before you felt him grab your waist and pull your body flush to his own. You took one look into his crazed blue eyes before you felt his lips crash against your own, his tongue pressing against your lips for entrance which you gladly accepted. A few moments pass as you kissed, the audience of the party erased in your mind in this moment, until Carcalla parted from you, his hand never leaving your hip, keeping your body flush against his own as he spoke, his voice booming throughout the room with authority.

“Let this be a lesson to learn from my fellow Romans, Y/N is mine and I will not have such mercy going forth.” The room was quiet but full of anxious nods from the senators in attendance, they understood very clearly what would happen if they so much as looked at you again. The speech made you blush somewhat, shocked at how protective he truly was of you, it made you bury your face in his neck and smile, for once feeling valued and loved by someone.

Caracalla felt your smile upon his neck, rubbing his nose affectionately against your skin whilst he stroked your hair, you felt the reverberation of a chuckle in his chest before he whispered into your ear with adoration. “My little dove”

[antianakin]

I'll add my own tags since you're responding directly to them.

And now here's your commentary that I'm responding to:

I sort-of wrote this so that it worked with or without the Force sensitivity, that's why I left that particular piece in the tags. The reason Cody finds Obi-Wan less attractive in armor isn't necessarily for a practical reason like Obi-Wan being out of armor means they're more "safe", but because Obi-Wan is more COMFORTABLE out of armor and in his usual Jedi attire and that confidence and comfort in your own skin are going to automatically make someone come across as more attractive, regardless of whether you can pick up Force vibes from them or not. Even in the Force sensitive version of this, Cody's so MILDLY Force sensitive that he has no idea he's picking up on Force vibes anyway and just likes seeing Obi-Wan in Jedi robes over seeing him in armor because it just seems more RIGHT, more HIM.

I also don't think the association of Obi-Wan being out of armor meaning Obi-Wan (and the people around him) are safe would last all that long. Obi-Wan canonically stops wearing the armor maybe a year at most into the war, which means he and the 212th end up in quite a few dangerous situations while Obi-Wan is unarmored and he would go into battle WITHOUT armor for a lot longer than he went in WITH armor. Whatever safety Cody might originally associate with Obi-Wan in Jedi robes wouldn't last beyond that first battle, I imagine.

Maybe it's more that Obi-Wan in Jedi robes represents the Ideal Future that Cody wants. Obi-Wan CAN remove his armor and choose to wear his Jedi attire if he wants to. He can remove some of those markers of being a General in the army and choose to wear something that represents him better. While this could obviously lead to jealousy, that Obi-Wan has a choice that Cody does not have (because while Cody HAS other clothing besides armor presumably, it's still just a military uniform that he didn't choose for himself, so it doesn't really count), Cody instead sees it as the epitome of The Dream. Cody wants to be able to do the same and it's not necessarily something he'd ever considered much before since this is possibly one of the first ever times he sees that sort of difference a change of clothing can make for someone. Cody wants to be able to know what clothes HE'D choose if he had the choice, he wants to know how it feels to wear clothing he chose for himself that has nothing to do with being a soldier. So the attraction perhaps goes beyond just appreciating what Obi-Wan looks like in Jedi clothing or liking that Obi-Wan seems more confident and comfortable in his own skin, and is also an attraction to what Obi-Wan REPRESENTS to Cody.

So Cody's reaction goes kind-of like, "Wow, he's so beautiful without armor."

"I want to be beautiful, too."

Headcanon that Cody actually thinks Obi-Wan is ten times more attractive in his Jedi clothing than he ever was in armor. He doesn't think Obi-Wan is UNATTRACTIVE as such when he's wearing more armor earlier in the war, but one day he sees Obi-Wan with either no armor or just the bracers and something just CLICKS and his jaw drops to the floor because YES, that's exactly how Obi-Wan should always look.

And bonus headcanon that he sees Obi-Wan in Mandalorian armor for whatever Reasons and immediately hates it and thinks it's probably the most unattractive Obi-Wan has ever looked. Obi-Wan finds this absolutely hilarious.

[tanadrin]

like, i know it's not an original thought to say that the Bolsheviks were Bad, Actually--but the kicker about their flavor of authoritarianism is that i think it was actually not super necessary? after the end of ww1 especially, there really was space to build a powerful coalition of left/socialist factions in Russia, except that the Bolsheviks had burned every possible bridge with every possible ally except maybe some of the Left SRs, and none of the leaders of the Bolsheviks--Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin--actually care about democracy as either a legitimating or a moral principle. Faced with the possibility of having to give up a bit of personal power but avoid the need for authoritarian repression vs re-establishing the Tsarist repressive apparatus all three would choose the latter without hesitation. and sure, there's an ideological component to this--this is for The People. but The People are a discourse object whose needs are often wildly at variance with the actual needs of the little-p people of Russia, and in that conflict the former will win out every time. there really is no specific point or principle any of these three motherfuckers will not betray if it redounds to their personal power and the power of their political faction.

in the context of the Russian Revolution it's hard to imagine what specific choices might have avoided 74 years of political repression and ultimately a rot of authoritarianism and militarism that would cause the USSR to completely collapse. but of course there were lots of chances after the revolution, too--it's not like the leaders of the USSR were helpless in the face of the system they inherited. every generation that inherits an empire has to make an active choice to sustain and defend that empire.

[judesmoonbeauty]

𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕁𝕒𝕫𝕫𝕒'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟚

This is a fan translation only. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.

One morning, after I made my unbreakable promise with Jude.

Kate: [Screen Jolt] Uwaah!

I woke up with a shock.

Kate: W-w-w-why….

Jude: How long ya gonna sleep, damned commoner?

Kate: You’re in my room!

As Jude grabbed me by my chin and locked with my flustered gaze, another face peeks out from the corner of my eye.

Ellis: Good morning, Kate. Hehe, your bangs are sticking up, it’s so cute.

(Ellis?!)

Kate: Hey, hey…..what’s going on?

Jude: Get ready in three seconds.

He roughly tossed me away by my chin, and I bounced back onto the bed.

Kate: Three seconds? Where are we going?

Ellis: To our other workplace.

(Other….workplace?)

We entered a building marked Raven Co.

Kate: ….Raven Company.

This is the trading company run by Jude.

They have branches overseas, and do an extensive range of business….That’s what Ellis told me along the way.

(Jude’s the president and Ellis is his employee.)

(I heard that Ellis is Jude’s assistant….)

The original line translates: “I heard that Ellis assists the company president, Jude.” I felt this was redundant, so I removed it.

It’s a amazing that he’s the president of such a prestigious company, and works for Crown.

As the three of us are walking inside, I listen to Ellis as he explains everything about the company….

Cheerful Young Man: President, Ellis, g‘mornin’.

Theodore also speaks in the kansai/osaka-ben dialect.

A young man with his hair tied up, bows slightly, and greets Jude and Ellis.

Jude: Mornin’.

Ellis: Good morning.

(Perhaps he’s an employee….)

Kate: Good morning.

When the young man spotted me behind them….

Cheerful Young Man: Whoa, what a real pretty youn’ lady! I see, ya must be Ellis’ girl.

Kate: Oh, no I…

Cheerful Young Man: Yer not? Then, couldja be the president’s?!

Cheerful Young Man: Ah —……That’s an unusual taste. Ugh!

The moment Jude kicked the young man, he crouched down, his face distorted with pain.

Jude: You’ve been twaddlin’ on all mornin’.

Jude: Why dontcha use that yappin’ gob of yers ‘n snatch us a sale?

Jude: Unless ya want a pay cut, then that’s a different story.

Cheerful Young Man: No! I can’t endure somethin’ like that.

The young man hopped up and enthusiastically waved both arms.

Cheerful Young Man: Well, I’m gonna go slave away for Raven company today tooo. See ya later!

(He was a very lively and cheerful person.)

Ellis: That’s Theodore Walker. He’s 21 years old and works in the sales department.

Kate: Hehe, he seems like a very kind person.

I can’t help but smile as I imagine his work-style.

(Now that I think about it, I’d like to learn more about the other employees and their jobs….)

Kate: Ellis, you’re the president’s assistant, right? What are your responsibilities?

When I asked Ellis so I could learn more about those around me, he told me as he recalled them.

Ellis: That’s right. Guarding, visiting clients, procurement confirmation, raiding….

(Uhhh? I heard some pretty troubling words just now….)

Kate: You sound busy. Anything else that you do?

Ellis: After that, there’s debt collections, fighting, and retaliation.

(That’s even more troubling…!)

Kate: I feel like I’m listening to the stories of new hires that got hired unintentionally at an unscrupulous company…

Swallowing the words “Criminal Organization,” I expressed my thoughts as tactfully as possible.

They literally have “Anti-Social Forces” written in English and it’s used in Japan to denote individuals or organized criminal groups, (AKA Yakuza and/or syndicates). I changed this to fit the setting of England.

Jude: The president of that unscrupulous company’s given ya a job.

Kate: Hey, you were listening?

Jude: Can ya not speak like yer interested? ‘Sides ya were shoutin.’

Jude: If ya got time to shout, then review these.

In front of Jude, there were lines of letter bins that were overflowing.

The mail that couldn’t fit in the bins were piled messily all over the desk.

Kate: Do you by chance, want me to organize all of this….

Jude: If ya were a postal worker, sortin’ letters should be a piece o’ cake.

Kate: Still, this is way too much for one person to handle!

(Even if I did this non-stop, it’ll take the the whole day…)

Jude: I’m leavin’ it to ya, so don’t complain.

[Answer: Option 3 - At least explain the job +4/+4]

Kate: You can at least explain the procedures, so I know what to do.

Jude: This’s what happens when yer raised a sheltered princess. Use yer head, are yer brains packed with sawdust?

His eyes looked down on me with contempt.

(Well, I’d rather accept the challenge than be made to look like an idiot.)

Kate: I’ll do it!

When I reflexively declared that, a thin smile formed on his lips.

Jude: Great. Be sure to finish by the time I get back.

Jude smiled in satisfaction and then turned on his heel.

Kate: Um, where’s Jude going?

Ellis: Business meeting in the VIP room with British department store.

Jude: Don’t mind ya taggin’ along, if ya think ya can be useful?

(He knows that I won’t be even a millimeter of a bit useful…..)

Kate: ….I’ll stick to sorting the mail.

Jude: Ha.

Jude scoffed and walked away.

(What’s with this sense of defeat….)

Ellis: Kate, would you like my help?

Kate: Ellis…..thanks.

The only thing that saved me - was Ellis’ gentle, encouraging smile.

In an empty room, I silently sorted the letters.

The faint scent of his preferred cigarettes wafted in the air as I kept my hands moving…..

Kate: This goes here, that goes there……hah! All finished!

When I spontaneously dropped myself onto the desk, Ellis, who’d been working on a task on the other side of a partition, applauded me.

Ellis: Nice work, Kate.

Ellis: You’re such a hard worker, that’s great.

Kate: It’s all thanks to you helping me during your free time, that I was able to finish so quickly, Ellis.

Ellis: I only helped a little bit.

Ellis: Kate, you did most of the work on your own, so give yourself some credit.

(Ellis is so sweet.)

(His angelic smile is so healing, and I get a little bashful when I see him….)

Being with him makes me feel like I’m immersed in a meltingly sweet jam.

(Now that I think about it, I still haven’t heard the reason why Ellis joined Crown.)

I wonder why such a kind person like Ellis is a part of the assassination organization “Crown”, that conquers evil with evil.

Kate: Hey, Ellis. Can I ask you something? It’s just a fairytale keeper question, but..

Ellis: You just finished work, and now you’re working as the fairytale keeper? Haha, you’re so eager about your work.

Ellis: Go ahead, ask me anything.

Kate: …..Why are you at Crown, Ellis?

Ellis: Hmm….I guess because Victor asked Jude, and Jude said okay?

Ellis: I met Jude before we entered Crown, and we’ve been together ever since.

Kate: So, that’s why you chose to follow Jude?

Ellis: Yeah.

(But, why did Jude accept the invitation?)

— To imagine his thought process.

Perhaps he thought that if he worked for Her Majesty, beneficial information for Raven would pour in.

(Be that as it may.)

Kate: I’m glad you didn’t get caught up in it Ellis…..

Ellis: But - we made a promise.

Ellis tenderly narrowed his eyes as he said that.

Kate: …..A promise?

Ellis: I’m waiting for the happiest moment of Jude’s life.

Ellis: In order to witness it, I must stay by his side.

Kate: Will that promise be fulfilled once Jude becomes his happiest?

Ellis: Yeah, that’s right.

(Jude’s happiest moment…..)

I try to imagine it, but I can’t imagine his happiest moment in the slightest because I’ve never seen him with a proper smile.

Kate: Ellis, what’s the promise you want to fulfill?

Ellis just smiled and evaded my question.

Ellis: But, it seems like that moment will never come. …..Jude’s always unhappy.

Jude: Yer bein’ noisy.

When Jude opened the door, he stood there with a sour look on his face.

The line directly translates: "When Jude opened the door, he stood there like he just crushed a bitter bug.” Nigamushi - means to give a soured look, as if one has swallowed a bitter bug. I altered the line.

Ellis: Oh, welcome back Jude.

Jude: Don’t yammer ‘bout unnecessary things.

Ellis: But, we have to cooperate with her fairytale keeper work, right?

Ellis winks at me and it encourages me also.

Kate: Jude, I’ve also got a question for you!

Kate: Why do you keep Ellis by your side?

Jude: Ain’t none of yer business what I do.

Ellis: Jude, Kate is your exclusive fairytale keeper. I think it has to do with that.

With Ellis’ support, Jude gave in with a deep sigh…..

Jude: This guy’s athletic abilities ‘n cursed power’re worth usin’. There’s no way I’d let valuable labor slip past me.

Jude: He’s definitely touched in the head though.

(He answered me…!)

Kate: Thanks for letting me know, Jude.

(Jude uses Ellis as a tool.)

(Ellis wants to fulfill a promise to Jude.)

Each are by the other’s side for the sake of their own benefit.

— The relationship between the two can be called a “contractual relationship”.

That day, I learned some important information about Jude for the first time.

[Main Story Master List] [Chapter 3]

I would just like to say that I was wheezing this chapter when I first read it. They really went into her room like that HELP! Also, I LOVE Theodore, he is this ball of sunshine that's total opposites to our grumpy prez.

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